New study: Children are mentally strained when the family lacks money
Many children in distressed families use a lot of energy adapting to the poor economy. They conceal the problem from others, withdraw from activities and communities that cost money, and do not communicate their needs to their parents. In a new study from SUS - Social Development Centre in collaboration with Danish People's Aid, 21 children describe what it is like to live with financial deprivation.
"I know that we are a family that doesn't have a lot of money. We don't go to fancy places. I have never been abroad. Almost everyone in my class has traveled, and after the summer vacation, we have to tell where we've been. I don't think that's very fun. Once, I lied and said that I had been to Djurs Sommerland, but it wasn't true."
That's how a 13-year-old girl describes her experience of growing up in a family with limited finances. She also points out that her peers wear new and trendy clothes and don't think her clothes are nice. When birthday parties are held and gifts need to be given, she finds an excuse to decline.
The girl's story is typical of the 21 children, aged 6-16, who are part of a new interview study on growing up in financially constrained families. See the fact box on the study. Here, the children, in their own words, not only talk about their specific deprivations but also about how it can be stressful to have to act - sometimes to their peers and their parents.
Three different coping strategies
All the children are very loyal to their parents and want to avoid asking for something they know they cannot afford. They take responsibility for finding ways to cope - these are called coping strategies.
Three specific ways of dealing with the deprivations repeatedly appear in the children's statements:
According to the study, several of the children have incorporated one or more of these strategies to the point that "they come naturally." However, SUS - Social Development Center, which conducted the interviews, emphasizes in their report that it is stressful for many of the children to be "overworked" in this way. They must always be ready to prioritize their own needs, tell white lies to avoid social repercussions, or find creative solutions to make ends meet.
Nevertheless, many of the children also point out that the limited resources in their families have contributed to giving them a healthy understanding of money, which their peers may not necessarily have. They take pride in this.
Aware of their parents' finances
Children are generally quite aware of their family's financial situation, especially the slightly older children. It varies how much parents directly involve their children in the economic conditions, but most children clearly experience, when interacting with their peers, the differences in what they can have and do. For example, that others receive pocket money, go on trips, eat takeaway or at restaurants, and more often get new clothes, a new phone, or other things.
Because of the comparison with other children, the social environment in which the children interact also matters. If most people in the area and school do not have a lot of money, the children perceive themselves as less poor compared to when they associate with children from wealthier families.
"I actually think we live in a low-priced area. There isn't a big fashion phenomenon. I mean, not that you walk around in torn or shabby clothes, but there isn't that thing where there's a demand for shoes to have a specific name or pants to be something fancy. There's room for you to be who you are... I think it's worse if you go to the big cities," says a girl in the survey.
The survey indicates that girls seem to be more emotionally affected by the financial limitations within the family. Several of the girls describe feeling embarrassed about having to go without things like not going on vacation, getting new clothes, or being able to afford going to concerts or cafes. The interviewed boys do not have nearly as many reflections on their sacrifices as the girls do.
Limited access to activities and experiences
All the interviewed children experience sacrifices in their everyday lives – some more than others. The children themselves particularly emphasize the sacrifices that prevent them from participating in social communities on an equal footing with their peers. In various ways, money is a kind of ticket to being - and feeling - part of the group.
Several of them mention, for example, that they cannot afford to have a travel card, which limits their opportunities to participate in social activities with their friends. Many young people have their primary social relationships online, and that requires having the equipment to participate in the digital community and the ability to pay for things that cost money online.
The children participate in various activities such as martial arts, soccer, scouts, horseback riding, and afterschool clubs. The fact that the economy apparently does not pose a hindrance to this may be due to the children mentioning that they receive subsidies for the activities, membership fees, or necessary equipment - either from the municipality, the association, or others.
All the children mention vacations and the absence of travel or experiences as the first thing they notice when they realize that money is tight. Many say that their family cannot afford to go on vacation, and few have traveled abroad. The children say that they don't have any plans for the summer - "just staying at home."
Several of the children explain that their family cannot afford one-day experiences such as amusement parks, cinemas, or water parks. Especially as some of the children reach an age where the admission fee is at the adult rate, it has become too expensive.
No one lacks the basics, but...
None of the children express that they don't have enough to eat. However, several children describe the food at home as simple and cheap. Families buy items on sale, freeze food, and take advantage of various food waste programs. Some children remember that it was different when the family had more money, such as occasionally being able to afford takeout or a trip to McDonald's.
"We're not really poor in our family. We have money for food, but it's not the expensive organic ingredients we buy. I mean, because it's too expensive. So we just buy the cheap rye bread. That's how we think when we go shopping (...) We get a free box of items that can last. There are many good things in it. It helps a lot," says a 16-year-old girl.
Many of the children talk about sacrifices when it comes to clothing. Especially the older girls say that the family's limited finances become very apparent. No one feels like they lack the basics, like winter clothes, rain gear, or shoes. But many experience that their cheaper or used clothes make them stand out from their friends, and several of them feel bullied because of it. They mention that clothes are often something they have to wish for as a gift or inherit from siblings or cousins.
A 14-year-old girl explains that every morning she thinks about what clothes to wear and how it will be perceived by others:
"I don't say in front of all my friends, 'I don't have any money.' But I can feel that they can look down on me: 'Oh, why don't you have any new shoes? Haven't you been wearing those for a really long time? Why are you wearing the same pants?'"
School is not free
The children also mention that there are many things they have to pay for at school. This includes academic equipment like a computer if the school doesn't have enough loaner computers available - or if it breaks while they have it at home. But there are also expenses related to social activities at school, such as personal contributions when the class goes on trips or school camps, as well as payments to the class fund and various gift schemes and similar expenses.
Several children mention that their school has had to cut back on experiences and outings. This means that they avoid potential personal contributions, but it also means that they miss out on opportunities, such as relatively cheap trips abroad, going to the theater, or similar activities. One of the children explains it like this:
"We go to a poor school. Many things have been cut back... That also says something because it may be that my school is poor, but they at least have more money than us to be able to pay for things like that."
About the study
The study "A Childhood with Limited Money" was conducted for Egmont’s Grants Administration in June 2024 in collaboration with Danish People's Aid (Dansk Folkehjælp) and SUS - Social Development Center.
SUS conducted six group interviews with a total of 21 children aged 6 to 16 years. In the interviews, the children were given the opportunity to share their experiences of growing up in families with limited finances. All the children come from families where the parents receive welfare benefits - social welfare, disability pension, or integration allowance.
The children were recruited through Danish People's Aid’s FamilyNet program, which their families actively participate in. This means that the families have sought and received some form of financial assistance. This can affect the types of deprivations experienced by the interviewed children compared to children in other families in a similar financial situation.
The children were selected to ensure a good distribution in terms of geography, social contexts, and family forms within the overall group. Just over half of the group are boys, and just over half are under 12 years old.
The full report can be downloaded from egmont.com/insight, folkehjaelp.dk, or SUS.dk.